Perfectionism is not Pretty
Perfectionism is a bottomless cup of unmet expectations.
Perfectionism is all about getting it right, right now, never showing weakness or flaws. It likes to hide doubt. Perfectionists would rather avoid learning new things than ever look “not perfect.” This can make life very small.
Perfectionism is all about not letting people see their cracks, because they might discover their worst fear: They are not good enough.
No matter how successful, attractive, or celebrated they are in the real world, their inner world will never be convinced. The goal posts always move. The peace and satisfaction never comes.
Actually, feeling deeply satisfied and content feels risky to a perfectionist because that could mean lack of motivation to be the best they can be. Being motivated by fear is everything. Motivation from feeling worthy is foreign and unknown. The perfectionist thinks, “It is too risky to feel enough because then I won’t live up to my potential before I die”
It’s a THING.
So, what about people with high standards and a desire for excellence?
Yes, my fellow high- achievers, I got you.
What high achievers need is Mastery, not Perfectionism.
Mastery is the act of accumulating skills and confidence consistently over time, with the right re-sources, using time as an asset, not a whip, in order to become your full potential in a project or event. Mastery leaves room for growth and welcomes failure as data. Mastery is fueled by celebrating wins along the way. It’s like replacing the inner critic for an inner fairy grandmother coach. A voice inside that supports and encourages, and does not diminish or degrade your spirit.
What is the Solution?
Perfectionism requires rewiring and legit healing. You can’t just mindset it away.
Shame likes to hide in whatever form it can. In the case of high achievers it hides in plain sight. People with unhealed shame, deep down, are trying to outrun, out busy, and outperform the voice in their head that compares, criticizes and convinces the perfectionist to keep pushing and keep striving because “it” isn’t good enough yet. Which means they are not good enough, yet. And they never get there no matter how hard they’ve tried.
There is another way.
We can access deep, unconditional worth as a human being and then do cool and amazing things with mastery. In fact, myself and my clients have experienced exponential results from being more relaxed and accessing creativity and more joy than the previous model of work-work-work then burn out.
If this is you- just know that it is possible. Feeling deeply satisfied does not have to come at the cost of your full mastery in life. You get to do, be, and have both.
If you are interested in rewiring perfectionism, I have a promo 1 session immersion. Use the code “rewire” for $200 off. https://bookwithjenna.as.me/worth