I want my dream job.
I want a more authentic, satisfying lifestyle.
I want to be more confident.
I want to lose 10lbs, make more money, have more time. So what are you going to do about it?
While working with many clients over the years I have come to find that most people avoid the actual process of Transformation itself. Even I did on my own journey.
People want the peace, they want the purpose, they want the results – but not so much the process.
The butterfly has been the classic symbol of transformation and inspiration for people trying to change. But, no one really focuses on the really awesome part where the caterpillar literally turns into a pod of goo, a dark squishy pod of GOO! They just look at pretty pictures of butterflies gliding under a glimmering ray of sunshine, la dee da.
To only focus on the results of transformation is a disservice.
True transformation is frigging hard. If you know it has challenging parts, at least you can be prepared and not surprised. This is why I’m writing this article. We need to discuss the behind the scenes nitty-gritty, real deal so you are equipped to become whatever life calls you to become.
No one wants to be the goo. It’s icky, its claustrophobic, it’s violent even. But the goo is where the actual transformation happens!
There would be no transformation, without trans-forming.
Trans – Latin (transcend; transfix); prefix, used with the meanings “across,” “beyond,” “through,”
Form – something that gives or determines shape; a mold. Holding something together.
In order to change something permanently – to the tipping point where there is no teetering back – you need to go past the form holding it together. That form can mean our identity, routine, relationships, or simply put ‘the known’. There is relief in what we know. Even if there are challenges in what we know, it is still quite unnerving to step into anything new, especially going into the goo.
Back to the popular butterfly metaphor, the butterfly becomes a butterfly and there’s no going back to being a caterpillar. Done deal, the point of no return. People tend to get scared of that level of commitment and completion, after all, there’s no guarantees you’ll come out the other side triumphant.
Look at our habits, we hang onto random buttons and pieces of junk because “we might need them one day”. Very few people can let go and know they will have exactly what they need when they need it.
Naturally, the pod of goo has everything it needs to make the butterfly. You will have what you need if you stop trying to micromanage the bejeebers out of life. If you are that attached to a button, imagine how attached you are to all the roles, habits and identities you think you need to be in the world? That’s tough stuff, my friends. Your mind will have a conniption fit, and your body will be discombobulated.
The good news is we have wings on the other side!
We can fly and see the world from new glorious perspectives that would never be possible from being an earthbound caterpillar. Both the caterpillar and butterfly have their own problems and dangers, but the caterpillar seeks out the experience of flying and thus sacrifices all it knows to become a creature of flight.
Life’s natural impulse is to grow, expand, and evolve. If we want to be confident instead of insecure, going
through all phase s- yes, even squishy, dark, goo – to permanent, flying confidence is worth the goo phase.
To make this natural process of transformation more graceful and harmonious for us, let’s re-examine our relationship to the less sexy parts of change. These are the concepts we’d rather sweep under a rug and deny from existence because they are difficult or deemed ugly. Below are the natural stages and phases of transformation you won’t see on an inspirational poster.
1. The Unknown
What we don’t know scares us. We want to know, and therefore we limit this amazing process of discovery. This alive experience is only possible if we hang out more in not knowing and confusion. Those states mean we are dancing with the creative process; we are participating in life.
I propose that living what we know, is far scarier than the unknown. For me, it means I am not discovering, growing and expanding. If the unknown is not welcome in my life that means some parts of me are stagnant and stuck, since dying is a part of life. No growth means the universal intelligence of nature and life are not working through me.
Some call this EGO, the part that knows who you are because of your past, your name, your race, your roles, etc… But if we want to become something we haven’t experienced before now, we must learn to embrace or accept the unknown in a new way. (even if we get scared)
2. The Dark
Let’s be honest, lots of people are scared of the dark. It is the real deal unknown because your eyes can’t see. There could be monsters for gosh sakes. When really, all life comes from the dark. Think about it. The feminine energy of feelings and creative ideas (unseen), dark soil where seeds nestle in to grow, and of course the womb. All life comes from the dark. Our entire body is working miraculously and effortlessly in the dark (under your skin- its dark in there, but your cells aren’t needing a nightlight to get by).
We also practice our faith muscles in the dark because we don’t know the outcomes and choose to walk towards them anyways. The dark is the inability to see every detail and step ahead. We need to allow for that and move forward anyway.
3. Dismemberment
Falling apart to come back together. No one wants to sign up for a dismemberment class on the weekend. They want a yoga class where they will eat organic, chant, and feel HAPPY in their perfectly fitting lululemons (yoga pants). Dismemberment is actually a welcome part of transformation because you simply can’t go back to the old, worn out part you are breaking through. That means sustainable change! Lasting results. Some chaos might ensue, but rest assured when its coming from a place of transformation, your life is being reorganized for your own benefit in the long run. You are becoming what you set out in your mind, and your life is tearing down what will not work for your new goals and creations.
This is push-ups for your faith muscles.
Here’s the thing, transformation is what it is; it’s a part of life. And for the most part, it is difficult for human beings. It’s pretty easy for nature. A tree’s leaves fall off without having separation anxiety, a supernova explodes, thus creating the material for new stars and all is well. We break down our known, to create energy for what is becoming.
The more we tune into the nature of who we really are-as part of nature itself, part of the whole-the more we can really rock out and live our lives.