Starting to prioritize yourself, not with arrogance or selfishness, but with a deep sense of self-esteem and trust, and you will see your life improve and your self-care routine becomes second nature and non-negotiable in your day.
We all know what to do, eat right, exercise, be kind to ourselves and others, go for our dreams, stay in touch with family and friends, so many good and healthy things to do. Yet…while working with many clients, 90% simply do not do these things.
The day drifts by and suddenly it’s night-time and you are tired! You meant to do many things, but they all just didn’t make the cut of priorities.
1. All or Nothing thinking
If I can’t do an hour of exercise, yoga, meditation, walking; what’s the point?
If I don’t do it perfectly, then I’ll put it off till I can (which ends up being never)
I’m not spiritual if I’m in a bad mood. I MUST think happy thoughts all the time.
This harsh inner voice is never your pal when embarking on new habits that align with your ideal self. All or nothing thinking is a surefire sign you are operating from fear, and not from faith in yourself. It’s just you being scared of disappointment that these changes won’t work, or you will fail. Either I do it all the way, or why try? These types of thoughts simply derail the natural flow of good days, “bad” days that will happen in the rhythm of life.
Do the things you know you want to do, that add juice to your life anyway. Choose YOU by investing in the activities and practices you know you want to be doing, to be the best you. Get creative, and allow yourself to be flexible. All or Nothing thinking hate when you get creative and find “both, and” solutions. The harsh voices in your head will die down eventually, and you will start to see your relationship with yourself improve when you can keep simple commitments to yourself, in ways that realistically work for you and your life.
2. Thinking changes should happen in BIG, obvious shifts.
NOPE. Most change happens with consistent repetition. A water drop slowly creates erosion on a mountain, creating epic designs. The decision to write 100 words a day turns into a book. Doing some form of activity regularly will increase your fitness. Think doable, small, consistent. Manage when you want it ALL NOW, as that is simply an adult temper tantrum which does not lead to results or life satisfaction
“We are what we repeatedly do.”- Aristotle
3. Lack of Self Love or Self Respect.
Many people have not learned to be their own ally, or to make changes from love and fulfilment, rather than self-disgust and punishment. You can change this dynamic just by practising small things you KNOW work, each day. Practice, means you keep going and let yourself be a beginner and not always be “on”. Each checkmark for yourself, each day, builds self-worth.
Be warned, you might reject this nice behaviour and self-devotion out of sheer discomfort in something unknown, and unfamiliar. Something odd like, you know, self-love.
If you are used to going last, not speaking up when you want something, letting yourself down, or being a bit of a doormat maybe, this exercise in self-relationship will feel like nails on a chalkboard. Ride the wave! Stay the course.
4. People Pleasing
I see soooo many people put other’s needs in front of there own. Not just sometimes, but as a habit. Everyone knows the “put the oxygen mask on yourself first” metaphor, sure, and still, I continuously see people leave their own needs to make sure other’s are happy. Authentically, this is a good thing! But done imbalanced, this leads to burn out, lack of personal power, and overall energy for what your love and desire, other than meeting other people’s needs. Trust me! Starting to prioritize yourself, not with arrogance or selfishness, but with a deep sense of self-esteem and trust, and you will see your life improve and your self-care routine becomes second nature and non-negotiable in your day.
I’m here to help you if you get stuck. My inbox is always open.
Download my tool for keeping track of self-care, The Wellbeing Checklist here.